- Labels like helicopter mum, sloth mum, tiger mum.
Whatever next? Porcupine mum?
- Anything with the word 'failed' in it..
...Failed Vaginal Delivery, Failed Forceps. Since when did motherhood get so competitive?
- "Yummy Mummy"
Particularly awful if used as a reference to oneself. It’s vanity taken to the extreme. Also, what exactly is a yummy mummy? Someone who has time to brush their hair and wipe baby sick off their shoulder?!
- Being referred to as 'mummy' by anyone other than your children.
Health visitors are particularly guilty of this. Read and learn: I AM NOT YOUR BLOODY MUMMY (Rupert - when you are old enough to read this, I am your mummy. Please don't get confused.)
- Full time mum
Does this suggest that those who work aren't also full time mums?!
- "Are you having any more?"
Excuse me? Having anymore what? Roast beef? Baked potatoes?! Pudding? This phrase should only be used around the family dinner table. It should NEVER be used to enquire about the sex life/reproductive organs of a new mother.
- Abbreviations on mumsnet - DD, DS etc
Why can't people just use the ACTUAL world to describe something? Isn't that what the English language was invented for? Are mumsnetters simple "too busy puree-ing baby food"' to write a WHOLE WORD?